It seems that my last blog entry did a lot of damage. My long term boyfriend ditched me because "he knew from the blog entry that I was NOT happy with him and I will be happier without him and so on" and all I wanted from that blog entry was to have some feedback from you all and now a break up!
Anyway I got this comment from Murtagh and I think it will prove interesting to you all.
" Hey Elanor
I dont know where to begin. but yes, the beginning should be good enough.. We first had our conversation on October 1st 2006 on a Sunday. Aloarise introduced you to me calling me KD ge ah dhaa buddy. I had a crush on you from that day onwards. You chatted a lot. Interest for you grew as I learnt who you were. and there we went on. and as I remember it, I was having my first semester exams those days. and I missed you a lot everyday you werent there online to chat with me. these feelings deepened everyday for you. I let what my friends told about you to deaf ears. I believed in you and I felt great respect for you. On thursday, 13th October 2006, on a friday, early in the morning, I was there. Online, and missing you. and I told of my feelings towards you in an indirect way. and I felt down when you avoided it. yet, unexpectedly somehow you seemed to have some feelings for me. you were afraid. but you had something. and that day was a joyful day for me. the day I got you. I still remember it.
We talked of how our relationship will go. everything from the smallest thing to the biggest. and how to handle our relationship in case problems come. and we have sticked to them. from day one until last night.
I want you to know, that I am sorry elanor. I want us back. I dont mind you talkin to guys and working in a job as long as you are loyal to me. thats all, really. and you have to trust me with it elanor. knowing you dont trust me is very very difficult for me. And I never wanted you in a cage honey. my love. i always wanted you to be happy. and last night i thought it was best for you. I hesitated, but i did it for you. I m sorry. I'm so sorry. Please elanor... forgive me.
I m sorry for the things I said. elanor.. I am sorry for hurting you. I am sorry for sleeping on you. I am sorry for letting you go like that. I am sorry for the things I may have done that hurt you. I am so sorry.
I never wanted us to break up. I always wanted you. desired you. loved you. cared for you. I do elanor. everyday. I wanted us to take that break of one week because I was guilty, elanor.. I was guilty of sleeping on you. I was guilty of the way we were. I was guilty for the problems that we were having. I was guilty for doing things I shouldnt have. things that I havent told you about. things that I wanted to share with you. I am sorry for everything. I was going to tell you once we had the break. I was going to value you as I once did and care for you as I once did.
elanor, please. I beg you. Give us one more chance. I love you for who you were. who you are. and who you will be. I love you. Please elanor. I'm sorry for the tears that you may be shedding because of me. I am sorry.
I swear elanor. I wont be a nuisance to you. I promise never to sleep on you. I promise to take care of you. I promise to not get angry with you. I promise to be there for you when you need me. I promise to you that I wont make work and your friends an issue. I promise I wont let it bother me. I promise that i will be by your side. I m so sorry. forgive me.. Give us one more chance. give us a chance to start over. rectify our mistakes. and forget the past. please elanor. i beg you.
i didnt mean to break up with you. I never did. Please elanor. let me have you back. please. the emptiness I feel without you is worse than anything else. Please elanor. give us one more chance. I beg you. please. I'm so sorry. i'm so so sorry.. i love you.
please.
with love and much sorrow, Murtagh "
2 comments:
hi Miss Elanor..i was just searching n found your blog which was very interesting.. i read on n noticed dat you are in a big trouble..as u have sed in your last post dat u wrote in the heading " is he buying time to ditch me?", cox u wanted som feedbak frm somone rite? frm wat u have posted, i noticed that you were somwhat mad at ur boyfrnd cox hes keeping u caged.. is he really over protective or caring abt u or wat? i find the tone in ur post like u r not very happy with Mr.Murtagh.. n maybe dats d reason y he was so sure that ur not happy with him. as Mr.Murtagh has sed in his comment t u dat he wans u to be happy even without him n he doesn mean it. well..i can c he is deeply sorry fo what he sed. maybe he really needed time to sort out things. ppl do tak short breaks in relations. maybe it doesn mean dat he wans to ditch u. n maybe he really wanted to get things better between u both. under ur headin "the black box", u hav sed dat u tak ur bf for granted. im sure he must be very hurt by that if he read ur blog. never in relations which means true love, is there couples who tak each other for granted..anyways u cud hav written ur blog entry in a sensible way o otherwise it cudn hav got worse. so as for helping you i could ask you to forgive him n u say sorry for what u wrote which made him "ditch" u without meanin. giv him d very last chance to prove what he sed in his comment..cox i think he should be gvn the chance to prove it right.. hes so hurt n maybe he is dying to be with u which is makin him beg for u, girl! no guys r like him,as ive seen in his mail to you.. n i should ask u to think of urself y u don wan to be wit him? anyway hope u n ur long term bf would get together again and he proves it right to you! good luck!
Rachel
thanx Rachel. I think its a big mess right now but I am trying to fix it.
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