Today I checked my phone to see a message from my beloved bf Murtagh saying something like he is giving us a week or two for me to think if I want him still and for him to do the same. Now let me tell you. With all my not PMS and short temper and everything else I have tried these last few weeks for our relationship to go right. I love him a lot and want us to work out because I believe he's got what I want in my boyfriend but I don't know how its going to end up now..
To begin with I am a very tiresome, irritable and impatient person. I am kinda like bossy.. He is this person who is not socially involved with people and has a twin who does everything better than him and all that. I knew them both and yet fell inlove with him and I don't know whats really going wrong.
Maybe the reason is because lately I have confided in him that I did not want to get married so early( like when I am 20 or something). Previously I planned it maybe at.....23. Then few days ago I told him I plan to get married at maybe 27 and on his insistance it changed to 25. However, he thinks its just stupid and feels that I might have problems and all getting kids and so on when I try late in my life. He does not like the way I want my life to be and he does not like me talking to boys and fraternising with them in anyway. But he says he doesn't give a damn and he will get used to it. It has me worried... really worried.
Is he just being protective and loving or am I right in feeling it is lack of trust (which he insists is NOT true) or is it keeping me caged(I feel so)???
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Hey Elanor
I dont know where to begin. but yes, the beginning should be good enough.. We first had our conversation on October 1st 2006 on a Sunday. Aloarise introduced you to me calling me KD ge ah dhaa buddy. I had a crush on you from that day onwards. You chatted a lot. Interest for you grew as I learnt who you were. and there we went on. and as I remember it, I was having my first semester exams those days. and I missed you a lot everyday you werent there online to chat with me. these feelings deepened everyday for you. I let what my friends told about you to deaf ears. I believed in you and I felt great respect for you. On thursday, 13th October 2006, on a friday, early in the morning, I was there. Online, and missing you. and I told of my feelings towards you in an indirect way. and I felt down when you avoided it. yet, unexpectedly somehow you seemed to have some feelings for me. you were afraid. but you had something. and that day was a joyful day for me. the day I got you. I still remember it.
We talked of how our relationship will go. everything from the smallest thing to the biggest. and how to handle our relationship in case problems come. and we have sticked to them. from day one until last night.
I want you to know, that I am sorry elanor. I want us back. I dont mind you talkin to guys and working in a job as long as you are loyal to me. thats all, really. and you have to trust me with it elanor. knowing you dont trust me is very very difficult for me. And I never wanted you in a cage honey. my love. i always wanted you to be happy. and last night i thought it was best for you. I hesitated, but i did it for you. I m sorry. I'm so sorry. Please elanor... forgive me.
I m sorry for the things I said. elanor.. I am sorry for hurting you. I am sorry for sleeping on you. I am sorry for letting you go like that. I am sorry for the things I may have done that hurt you. I am so sorry.
I never wanted us to break up. I always wanted you. desired you. loved you. cared for you. I do elanor. everyday. I wanted us to take that break of one week because I was guilty, elanor.. I was guilty of sleeping on you. I was guilty of the way we were. I was guilty for the problems that we were having. I was guilty for doing things I shouldnt have. things that I havent told you about. things that I wanted to share with you. I am sorry for everything. I was going to tell you once we had the break. I was going to value you as I once did and care for you as I once did.
elanor, please. I beg you. Give us one more chance. I love you for who you were. who you are. and who you will be. I love you. Please elanor. I'm sorry for the tears that you may be shedding because of me. I am sorry.
I swear elanor. I wont be a nuisance to you. I promise never to sleep on you. I promise to take care of you. I promise to not get angry with you. I promise to be there for you when you need me. I promise to you that I wont make work and your friends an issue. I promise I wont let it bother me. I promise that i will be by your side. I m so sorry. forgive me.. Give us one more chance. give us a chance to start over. rectify our mistakes. and forget the past. please elanor. i beg you.
i didnt mean to break up with you. I never did. Please elanor. let me have you back. please. the emptiness I feel without you is worse than anything else. Please elanor. give us one more chance. I beg you. please. I'm so sorry. i'm so so sorry.. i love you.
please.
with love and much sorrow, Murtagh
typical guys style. You should not give him a chance at all.
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